When you have kids, you are signing up to a life of putting them first and this needs to be the case even if you and your partner are separating. A divorce can be one of the hardest things for your kids to understand, and as such you need to make sure that they are your number one priority.
There are some things that you are going to need to do when you’re going through a separation or divorce when it comes to your kids, and we are going to talk about some of these in this article. By the end, you should know how to keep your kids as your priority.
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Explain The Situation
It is going to be difficult for them to understand the situation, and you need to be the one to explain it to them. If you don’t, you are likely going to see some adverse impacts of the separation, which isn’t what you want.
Take time, to sit down with them and make sure they understand what is going on. Answer any and all questions they have, but most importantly you must stay calm.
It can be an emotional conversation to have with your kids, but you need to stay calm, poised and remember that your kids understanding is the most important thing.
You may have to explain the situation a few times, which can get frustrating but remember they’re trying to process the information you’ve given them.
Allow them as much time as they need and tell them that if they have any more questions, you will answer them when they come to you.
It’s Not Them, It’s You
Many children may think that they are the cause of the separation. Some children might think it was their behavior, some may believe they didn’t do enough and so on.
It’s vital that you let your children know that they had nothing to do with this. If you don’t, your child is going to think it was all their fault, blame themselves, and even convince themselves that you or your ex doesn’t love them anymore.
Which is one of the worst impacts a divorce can have, so you need to take the time to let the children know it wasn’t their fault. Keep reassuring them of this as time goes on.
You Both Love Them
Whether you have decided to go for an online divorce or something more traditional, you both need to sit down with your children, together. It doesn’t matter what kind of terms you are on; you can’t badmouth each other to your kids, and they need to know that you both love them no matter what.
Without this kind of reassurance, children can become depressed, anxious and a whole host of other unhealthy things.
It is going to be especially important for the parent who is moving out to make sure that their children know how loved they are. That they will be there for them no, matter what.
Hopefully you have found this article helpful and will use the information to ensure that your kids are kept as the priority through a separation.
Thank you,
Glenda, Charlie and David Cates
