Troubled Marriages: Things to Try Before Giving Up
Sometimes marriage hurts. There comes a point when you no longer feel the affection, care, or security you once felt. It’s ok if this occurs just once in a while. Most marriages pass through that. But it’s another ball game altogether if that becomes the norm in your marriage.
When there are frequent criticisms, extramarital affairs, and secrets in the home, you have a troubled marriage. But before giving up, it’s worth noting that a troubled marriage can be repaired. That you’re reading this article shows that you’re willing to do all it takes to bring happiness to your home.
So here are some things to do when your marriage is in trouble.
1. Stop the blame game
Many couples play the blame game, where one partner constantly blames the other for everything bad that happens in the relationship. This causes the other party to become distant, leading to a marriage devoid of affection.
And more often than not, it’s the dissatisfied partner who takes responsibility to change. However, either party can make an effort to warm things up.
Whichever party you are, you can stay connected by turning towards your partner rather than away from them.
2. Complain correctly
You can complain but avoid criticizing your partner or blaming them while at it. For example, a complaint is: “I was worried when you didn’t call.” The blame version becomes: “You don’t always call; you never care about how I feel.”
3. Try physical affection
Physical touch is one of the five love languages. Touching, hugging, and holding hands can promote the release of oxytocin, the same hormone released during intimacy and orgasm. Physical touches can also build fondness and affection, reducing the frequency and fierceness of your conflicts.
4. Look introspectively
Remember, you can’t always be right. Sometimes you can be the one at fault. Understanding this would help because it would help you assess yourself and realize where changes are needed.
5. Communicate actively rather than passively
Are you angry? You can gently tell your partner that what they said or did doesn’t sit well with you rather than giving them the cold shoulder. Work on resolving the issues by talking with resolution rather than retaliation as the aim.
Be forthcoming about your concerns, feelings, and wishes. You may not get what you want simply because you expected it unless you say it aloud. Don’t bottle things up as they may become explosive later. But ensure to be respectful while expressing yourself.
6. Focus on the issues at hand
Anger is most often a symptom of underlying frustration, so try to get to the bottom of your partner’s emotion. Their frequent anger may not be because they hate you but because of something you often say or do. Therefore, it would help if you don’t always take issues personally but focus on the actual issue at hand.
7. Speak with a divorce attorney
It’s worth noting that divorce in Edmonton has increased during the pandemic, probably because couples had to spend more boring/chaotic moments with each other. If you feel you’ve done all you could and your marriage just doesn’t work, it’s time to speak with an Edmonton divorce lawyer. Your attorney can help assess your situation if it meets up with the legal grounds for divorce in Edmonton. They can also help make your divorce as smooth and peaceful as possible.
Final words
Your happiness matters. Whether you’re working on your relationship or finding a way out, ensure you’re making a decision that promotes just that — your happiness.
Thank you,
Glenda, Charlie and David Cates
