Is Your Spouse Secretly Planning to Leave You?
There are times I wonder if David is thinking of leaving because this happened to me with my ex. As we go into a New Year I know we need to work on our Marriage. Or Charlie will be a subject of a broken marriage. I don’t want that to happen. I would like to share 4 Scenarios that can destroy our marriage which I plan on working on.
The 4 Scenarios that can Destroy Your Marriage without You Knowing By Mort Fertel
It’s rare that a couple agrees to split up. In most cases, one person is miserable and thinking “I’m done” while their spouse is oblivious to a coming crisis.
Many people are shocked when they’re served with papers, discover an affair, or their spouse moves out. Most people don’t see it coming. They thought everything was fine. They couldn’t imagine that this would happen to them.
But it does happen. It happens all the time, particularly in 4 types of marital situations.
The Zero Conflict Relationship
If you claim, “We never fight”—beware. That’s not good. Your spouse is probably a people-pleaser, willing to agree to anything to avoid conflict. But capitulating repeatedly builds irrepressible resentment. There’s conflict in every marriage. If it’s not in the open, then it’s bottled up inside your spouse. For years there could be a mirage of peace, but eventually your spouse will erupt and you’ll be flung into a marital crisis.
The Sex-Starved Marriage
You can try to justify why you stopped having sex or why it’s infrequent or rote. Your spouse may cope and hope for a while, but if they have a strong sex drive or an active imagination, they’re going to lose patience with you. If your sex life is not exciting, look out because your spouse might be getting ready to check-out.
The Perfect Partnership
The business of running a family is a challenge. There are bills to be paid, kids to raise, and chores galore. But just because the house runs smoothly doesn’t mean it’s a fulfilling home. The goal of marriage is not efficiency; it’s intimacy. And too often people who were soul mates lose each other and become roommates. If you’re focused on work or children and lost your connection with your spouse your perfect partnership might be due to blow up.
Verbal Venom
As a child you learned “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.” Turns out that’s not true. Words hurt—a lot. And a person will only endure so much. If you spew verbal assaults at your spouse, if you criticize, curse, and complain, eventually your spouse will say… “Enough!” Then you’ll be screaming, but you’ll be alone.
I’ve met thousands of people who were settled into what they thought was a fine marriage, but then got blindsided with “I love you but I’m not in love with you.” If your marriage fits into any of the relationship profiles described in this article, take initiative to improve the situation before it’s too late.
Mort Fertel is the founder of the Marriage Fitness Program and the author of the e-report 7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage. Get it free at MortFertel.com
Thank you,
Glenda, Charlie and David Cates
