There’s no question that being a parent in today’s day and age is far different from what it was when we were children. When it comes to this digital age and parenting, parents are finding it challenging to manage as there is really no one that they can go to for support. Their own parents didn’t raise them in a digital age and the reality is that the access children have at their fingertips makes parenting that much harder than it already is.
Children’s engagement with online interactions has become increasingly prevalent across various age groups. 95% of youth between the ages of 13-17 report using social media, two thirds of them using it daily. Additionally, about 40% of children 8 – 12 report using social media as well. Many children spend time playing video games – by the time children have reached the 5 to 8 age group, 60% of them have played video games on a handheld device, 81% have played console games and 90% have played on a computer. On top of the social uses for online interactions, school devices as well as devices for reading and more all add more online exposure for kids. All of this is to say that children spend a lot of time online.
A Parent’s Role in the Digital Age
Today, parent’s face the dual responsibility of protecting their child both on and offline. Additionally, they are responsible for keeping them safe online while supporting their mental health. The more time children spend online, parents are required to learn more about what they are doing online and who they are communicating with in order to keep them safe. They have to monitor their child’s use for safety concerns, like cyberbullying and inappropriate content, while also providing emotional support on how to navigate the pressure and anxieties that these online interactions can create. Balancing these roles means both fostering a safe and nurturing environment where children can feel safe online while also feeling comfortable enough to come share their experiences with you. The task is not an easy one.
Understanding the Pressures of Online Interactions
Whether your child is chatting with friends or strangers while playing video games or scrolling through social media, there are common pressures children face online. These include cyberbullying, comparing themselves to others, peer pressure to follow trends, FOMO (fear of missing out) and more. Children whose parents don’t let them use social media feel pressure to participate while children who are already on social media feel pressure in other ways. The reality is that there are pressures that children come in contact with that they need support managing.
Recognizing Signs of Emotional Distress in Children
Online threats are not limited to video games. They are prevalent in all online spaces where communication takes place which is why it’s important to keep an eye out for emotional distress in children. Look out for:
- Sudden changes in emotions such as sudden mood swings, irritability or heightened anxiety
- Pay attention to any increased sensitivity to criticism and rejection
- Persistent sadness or withdrawal from social activities
- Changes in sleep patterns – a significant increase in the amount of sleep needed or significant decrease – staying up all hours of the night
- A drop in grades or losing interest in school
- Avoiding things that were once important to them
These signs may be indicators, not definitive proof, that something might be going on. When you notice changes, it is always important to have a gentle conversation about what could be going on. Do not judge or accuse but rather approach the conversation with concern and compassion.
Practical Tips for Building a Supportive Environment
- Conversation, conversation, conversation! Building a supportive environment is a good place to start with your child. Creating a safe space when your child can feel comfortable discussing their experiences without judgment is essential. You want to encourage your child to come to you with their questions or problems instead of feeling like they need to hide them from you. When children don’t feel that they have a safe place to ask for help, they may try to solve the problem on their own and get themselves into more trouble.
- Set healthy boundaries together. Start by explaining why boundaries are important for your child when it comes to their screens. Discuss who they can and can’t chat with online and why. Collaborate with them to set reasonable screen time limits you can both agree on as well as online interaction guidelines so that there is a clear understanding of what is acceptable for your child and what is not.
- Model positive online behavior: Show your child what positive online interactions look like, emphasizing empathy and kindness. Look at interactions together that are not kind and discuss how they could have been dealt with differently. Demonstrate your own healthy screen time habits in front of your children and lead by example.
Emotional Support Strategies
- Validate Your Child’s Feelings: Acknowledge their feelings about online situations, even if they seem trivial. Avoid dismissing their concerns. Your child needs to feel seen and heard. Mirror their feelings by the way you look at them and respond to them.
- Encourage Problem-Solving Skills: Teach strategies for handling online negativity, like blocking/reporting harmful accounts or ignoring provocative comments. Teach your child how to stand up for others in chats when they see inappropriate behavior and act as they would want others to act on their behalf.
- Foster Offline Activities: Help them maintain a balance by promoting hobbies and activities that don’t involve screens, reducing online dependence. By setting screen time limits, your child will learn how to manage their time online and how to plan for their offline time as well.
Use Parental Controls
Parental controls can be a great way to monitor your child’s online interactions. ProtectMe by Kidas is a monitoring software that alerts parents when their child comes in contact with dangers while communicating in online video games and apps like Roblox and Discord. ProtectMe has alerted parents about children who have communicated to others in public and private gaming chats that they were going to take their own lives. We have alerted parents about their child being informed that their friend was going to bring a gun to school and we have sent countless alerts of cyberbullying, contact with a predator and children being asked to share inappropriate photos and videos of themselves. ProtectMe alerts parents of these threats and provides them with strategies on how to handle the threat.
Using a parental monitoring tool can help you keep an eye on your child’s online interactions while respecting their privacy. You will remain informed when your child needs you to step in and you will be provided with recommendations on how and what to say to your child when you discuss the issue with them. If you aren’t using a monitoring software, discuss setting up “check-in” times rather than continuous monitoring to give children a sense of trust and autonomy.
Being a Present, Proactive Parent
Living in a digital world that never sleeps, means that parents always need to have one eye open! It means that we need to be both a proactive and supportive parent (without being too overbearing!) The task is not an easy one, but it is essential to keep our kids safe on and offline. While it may feel like a big and overwhelming task, remember that even small steps can make a big difference in helping your child navigate online interactions in a healthy way.
Supporting Mental Health – Practical Tips and Emotional Support Strategies for Parents to Help Their Children Cope with the Pressures of Online Interactions
There’s no question that being a parent in today’s day and age is far different from what it was when we were children. When it comes to this digital age and parenting, parents are finding it challenging to manage as there is really no one that they can go to for support. Their own parents didn’t raise them in a digital age and the reality is that the access children have at their fingertips makes parenting that much harder than it already is.
Children’s engagement with online interactions has become increasingly prevalent across various age groups. 95% of youth between the ages of 13-17 report using social media, two thirds of them using it daily. Additionally, about 40% of children 8 – 12 report using social media as well. Many children spend time playing video games – by the time children have reached the 5 to 8 age group, 60% of them have played video games on a handheld device, 81% have played console games and 90% have played on a computer. On top of the social uses for online interactions, school devices as well as devices for reading and more all add more online exposure for kids. All of this is to say that children spend a lot of time online.
A Parent’s Role in the Digital Age
Today, parent’s face the dual responsibility of protecting their child both on and offline. Additionally, they are responsible for keeping them safe online while supporting their mental health. The more time children spend online, parents are required to learn more about what they are doing online and who they are communicating with in order to keep them safe. They have to monitor their child’s use for safety concerns, like cyberbullying and inappropriate content, while also providing emotional support on how to navigate the pressure and anxieties that these online interactions can create. Balancing these roles means both fostering a safe and nurturing environment where children can feel safe online while also feeling comfortable enough to come share their experiences with you. The task is not an easy one.
Understanding the Pressures of Online Interactions
Whether your child is chatting with friends or strangers while playing video games or scrolling through social media, there are common pressures children face online. These include cyberbullying, comparing themselves to others, peer pressure to follow trends, FOMO (fear of missing out) and more. Children whose parents don’t let them use social media feel pressure to participate while children who are already on social media feel pressure in other ways. The reality is that there are pressures that children come in contact with that they need support managing.
Recognizing Signs of Emotional Distress in Children
Online threats are not limited to video games. They are prevalent in all online spaces where communication takes place which is why it’s important to keep an eye out for emotional distress in children. Look out for:
- Sudden changes in emotions such as sudden mood swings, irritability or heightened anxiety
- Pay attention to any increased sensitivity to criticism and rejection
- Persistent sadness or withdrawal from social activities
- Changes in sleep patterns – a significant increase in the amount of sleep needed or significant decrease – staying up all hours of the night
- A drop in grades or losing interest in school
- Avoiding things that were once important to them
These signs may be indicators, not definitive proof, that something might be going on. When you notice changes, it is always important to have a gentle conversation about what could be going on. Do not judge or accuse but rather approach the conversation with concern and compassion.
Practical Tips for Building a Supportive Environment
- Conversation, conversation, conversation! Building a supportive environment is a good place to start with your child. Creating a safe space when your child can feel comfortable discussing their experiences without judgment is essential. You want to encourage your child to come to you with their questions or problems instead of feeling like they need to hide them from you. When children don’t feel that they have a safe place to ask for help, they may try to solve the problem on their own and get themselves into more trouble.
- Set healthy boundaries together. Start by explaining why boundaries are important for your child when it comes to their screens. Discuss who they can and can’t chat with online and why. Collaborate with them to set reasonable screen time limits you can both agree on as well as online interaction guidelines so that there is a clear understanding of what is acceptable for your child and what is not.
- Model positive online behavior: Show your child what positive online interactions look like, emphasizing empathy and kindness. Look at interactions together that are not kind and discuss how they could have been dealt with differently. Demonstrate your own healthy screen time habits in front of your children and lead by example.
Emotional Support Strategies
- Validate Your Child’s Feelings: Acknowledge their feelings about online situations, even if they seem trivial. Avoid dismissing their concerns. Your child needs to feel seen and heard. Mirror their feelings by the way you look at them and respond to them.
- Encourage Problem-Solving Skills: Teach strategies for handling online negativity, like blocking/reporting harmful accounts or ignoring provocative comments. Teach your child how to stand up for others in chats when they see inappropriate behavior and act as they would want others to act on their behalf.
- Foster Offline Activities: Help them maintain a balance by promoting hobbies and activities that don’t involve screens, reducing online dependence. By setting screen time limits, your child will learn how to manage their time online and how to plan for their offline time as well.
Use Parental Controls
Parental controls can be a great way to monitor your child’s online interactions. ProtectMe by Kidas is a monitoring software that alerts parents when their child comes in contact with dangers while communicating in online video games and apps like Roblox and Discord. ProtectMe has alerted parents about children who have communicated to others in public and private gaming chats that they were going to take their own lives. We have alerted parents about their child being informed that their friend was going to bring a gun to school and we have sent countless alerts of cyberbullying, contact with a predator and children being asked to share inappropriate photos and videos of themselves. ProtectMe alerts parents of these threats and provides them with strategies on how to handle the threat.
Using a parental monitoring tool can help you keep an eye on your child’s online interactions while respecting their privacy. You will remain informed when your child needs you to step in and you will be provided with recommendations on how and what to say to your child when you discuss the issue with them. If you aren’t using a monitoring software, discuss setting up “check-in” times rather than continuous monitoring to give children a sense of trust and autonomy.
Being a Present, Proactive Parent
Living in a digital world that never sleeps, means that parents always need to have one eye open! It means that we need to be both a proactive and supportive parent (without being too overbearing!) The task is not an easy one, but it is essential to keep our kids safe on and offline. While it may feel like a big and overwhelming task, remember that even small steps can make a big difference in helping your child navigate online interactions in a healthy way.
Jenna Berger
The Head of Parenting at Kidas, where she leverages her extensive background as both a teacher and school administrator to support families in navigating the digital world. With years of experience working closely with parents, Jenna is deeply committed to empowering caregivers with the tools and knowledge they need to keep their children safe online.
Passionate about fostering healthy digital habits, she believes in the importance of balancing technology with real-world connections. Outside of her professional life, Jenna stays on her toes as a dedicated and busy mom to four children, embracing the joys and challenges of parenthood every day.
Thank you,
Glenda, Charlie and David Cates
