As you all know I joined the Ultimate Blog Challenge and yesterday’s prompt was “AMA”. For those that don’t know what “AMA” is its where you can “ask me anything”.
Then we were to answer your questions that you asked us. Pretty scary, isn’t it? Although, I don’t have anything to hide so ask me anything. Just don’t get too personal….. LOL
One of the questions I received was how did Suzzane die. Even though I’ve shared Suzzie’s story many times there isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t end up mentioning her in one way or another. Allowing me to keep Suzzie’s memory alive. This keeps others from missing out on things they should do on a daily basis. I’m sorry if it bothers you when I talk about Suzzie but even if she is gone, she is still my daughter and I believe we can learn from her.
Before I share Suzzane’s story all I can say is “GOD” needed another Angel that day and the LORD picked out the best person for the job when he called Suzzane home. Now, I know that no child is perfect but even on Earth to so many people Suzzane was an Angel who gained her wings the day she was called home. I miss Suzzie more than anything. I wish she were still here.
As a parent we never want our children to pass away although I’m grateful Suzzane is in Heaven because she doesn’t have to live in this world and deal with all of the horrible things that are happening on a daily basis. From drugs, and guns to bullying or people being mean to each other on a daily basis.
Although that isn’t telling you what you wanted to hear. I would like to share Suzzane’s story with you. Now, I may struggle here or there or leave parts out or you might have questions. Don’t feel like you can’t ask the questions you have. Because I don’t mind sharing Suzzie’s story with you. I want to make others aware of the kindness of others and Organ Donors.
Suzzane was the kindest, most caring person I ever knew. I’m not saying that because I’m her mom. You can ask anyone. They would tell you the same thing. Suzanne’s life goal was helping others. Which she was doing on November 28th which was Thanksgiving weekend 2004.
Suzzane asked if she would be able to go over to her friend Amanda’s house to hang out. My ex-husband Everett didn’t think Suzzane should be allowed to go because she hadn’t cleaned her room. I went ahead and let her go with the condition that she would be home at a certain time to clean her room. Amanda’s mom was workin, and Amanda was spending Thanksgiving alone. I knew Suzzane would be good company for her.
That Sunday I went on and did the things I needed to do around the house. Around 11am Suzzie and Amanda came home because they were hungry. I didn’t know the girls were outside because I was in the kitchen. I looked out the window when I saw a Policeman sitting in front of my home.
I started to the front door. Suzzane was climbing in the front room window because I had the front door locked. It was cold outside and Suzzane didn’t think I heard them arrive. I asked why there was a policeman outside and both girls said there wasn’t one.
I asked Amanda again and let Amanda know if they didn’t tell me why Suzzane wouldn’t be able to return to her house that day. Suzzane said the Policeman picked them up from walking in the cold and brought them home because it was too cold to walk.
I agreed with the Policeman that it was too cold to be outside. I asked Suzzane and Amanda what they had been doing. Suzzane told me she and Amanda had been looking for a job because she wanted to earn money to give to her stepdad Everett so they could take a trip to Colorado to see his new grandson. By doing this Suzzane would be able to see her brother Josh.
I don’t think I’ve ever been prouder of Suzzane than at that moment. I asked Amanda what she was doing, and she said getting a job so she could help Suzzane raise the money. I just about melted on the spot from there kindness.
Amanda let me know she was going with Suzzane and Everett on the trip because you couldn’t separate the girls. If they could live together just like sisters they would have. If truth were told I would have adopted Amanda and her sister Ruth in a heartbeat as they were my girls.
Amanda and Suzzane went into her room to clean. I went with them to help so Suzzane wouldn’t get into trouble with Everett. Once her room was clean, we sat down to eat. Then they left to return to Amanda’s house where they would be spending the weekend. I never thought that would be the last time I would see Suzzie alive. Yes, it was colder than ever, but they had to get Amanda home.
Around 3pm Suzzane and Amanda made it back to Amanda’s home. Suzzane calls me and ask me what time I would be dropping off her change of clothes. Suzzie asked me if her father would be able to look at Amanda’s mom Karen’s car which wouldn’t start because Karen needed to be at work that evening.
I made plans to pick Suzzane up at 6pm. I let Suzzie know she needed to be at Amanda’s. I didn’t want to have to look for them or wait for them to come home. I started to cook dinner as Everett would be home by 5 and be hungry. While at Amanda’s their friend Ashley needed to return to her home. Outside it was misting and dark.
Ashley being in a wheelchair Suzzane decided they would walk Ashley home. All three girls crossed Carson Street to get Ashley home safely. SUzzane and Amanda were coming back across Carson. When Amanda says I’m not going to wait for the light to change in the crosswalk. Amanda begins to cross the street even though the light was red.
Suzzane waits for the light to change for her to enter the crosswalk. When the light changes saying it’s okay to walk Suzzane ventures into the street inthe crosswalk. Amanda is in front of Suzzane when a truck sees Amanda. The driver is watching Amanda. Instead of the crosswalk. The driver hits Suzzane. Throwing Suzzie 47 feet. Suzzane head hit the curb.
The driver wasn’t watching anywhere else but where Amanda was walking. The street was dark, and the driver didn’t want to hit Amanada. Because of this the driver hit Suzzie. Amanda watches Suzzane being struck by the truck and flying through the air. Amanda sees Suzzane’s head hit the curve. After that Amanada says it’s all a blank.
I was told people stopped to help. At 5:45 my phone rings. Amanda is on the phone crying. I have trouble understanding Amanda. A stranger takes the phone from Amanda and tells me there has been a wreck. The caller says I need to get to Carson where the Fish Store is as soon as possible.
I ask to talk to Amanda. I ask her how bad the wreck was. All Amanda says is its bad. I need to come to the Fish Store. The man takes the phone and says you need to hurry. I stand in my living room holding the phone. I have to figure out how to get to the accident. Everett isn’t home. I didn’t have a car. I try and decide if I can walk that far. Or even if I have the time to walk.
I decide to call my sister who lived about 5 minutes from me. Debbie and her family come and pick me up. We head to the accident site where the girls are. As we arrive the ambulance is there. They’ve loaded Suzzie and are fixing to leave. I remember climbing onto the back of the ambulance so I can get to Suzzane. The ambulance drivers wouldn’t let me in the Ambulance or even let me look inside as they were working on Suzzie.
My sister pulls me off the ambulance and puts me in the car. We take off to the hospital after finding out Suzzane was hit by a car. I still didn’t know how bad it was. We get to the hospital. I’m told I can’t see her. I have to fill out papers. After much pleading and begging they say I can go into see Suzzane but I can’t touch her. How can they tell a mom she can’t touch her child??
I walk in and Suzzie is so quiet and white. I saw the staples in her head. Suzzie’s hand is swollen and must have been broken. Suzzie didn’t have clothes on. I wanted to cover her up but the nurses said I couldn’t. We have to leave. We wait and wait for the doctors to come out. Finally, several doctors come and talk to us. I was told Suzzie’s hip is broken. I ask if she will walk again, and the doctors said yes, she should be able to.
Never telling me Suzzane hit her head on the curb. Or Suzzane might already have been brain dead. The doctors go back into her room. A couple hours later the doctors come out. They say Suzzane is brain dead. But they need to perform one more test in the morning to be sure.
That was the longest night of my life. Before they could tell me, for sure Suzzane was dead I already knew she was. Because I had went into her room to talk to her. Suzzie had told me she wanted to go to Heaven. I asked them to take her off the machines. The doctors made me wait until 8am which was 4 hours of not knowing what was going on.
Finally, they take Suzzne off the machines. There were no brain waves. Suzzane was pronounced dead at 8am. Even after much Praying and begging Suzzie did what she wanted she went to be with the Lord.
I have a question which I will never get the answer to because the policeman and doctors say they don’t know. Did Suzzane die at the scene of the accident like the police officers said? Or did she die in the hospital that night and the doctors didn’t want to tell me?
Was Suzzane still alive when I took her off Life Support? Was Suzzane in any pain? Did she know what I was doing and why I was taking her off the machines? Does she blame me for the accident because I let her go? Does she know how much I loved her and would have given my life for hers?
These are questions I will never have the answers to as only Suzzane and God can answer these questions. One thing I never have to doubt is my daughter loved me because that is the last thing, she said to me the day she died.
Please remember this tomorrow isn’t promised always make sure you take the time to tell those you love you love them. Even if your mad at them because one day one of you might not be here. Then you would regret not telling them you love them. Hugs are free and should be handed out all the time.
If you haven’t thought of being a Organ Donor check into it as it can make a difference in people’s lives. Suzzane was able to save over 70 people. I pray that one day I’m able to meet those people.
Thank you,
Glenda, Charlie and David Cates
