Parenting Your College Age Child

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Parenting Your College Age Child

The day that you drop your kid off at their college dorm can be a shock. Wasn’t it just yesterday they were heading off for their first day of school? The transition from having a child who lives at home with you to one who is suddenly out on their own can be a difficult one, not least because it can be difficult to figure out what your own role should be in their lives. Your children still need you, but they also need their space, so what should you be doing to get the balance right? The tips below can help you think about how to navigate this transition and still offer an appropriate amount of support to your college-bound kid.

Budgeting

As a parent, you may feel guilty that you aren’t able to pay for your child’s college education in its entirety or at all. While it might be ideal if you could, you shouldn’t jeopardize your own financial stability, including your retirement savings, to pay their expenses. What you can do is help them navigate the confusing world of financial aid and teach them how to budget. They may be eligible for some federal aid and scholarships, but this is generally not enough to cover the costs of tuition and other expenses. Instead, you can also help them look for student loans from private lenders, including Earnest student loans. You can also help them put together a budget that ensures that they have money for food, books, rent and other expenses throughout the semester.

Advice and Boundaries

One of the big challenges you will face in the years ahead is finding a balance between instilling values in your child and being there for them when they genuinely need you, offering advice and setting boundaries. The best way to get both your child and yourself ready for the independence of college is to start giving them more autonomy in the last couple of years of high school. This can sometimes mean allowing them to make their own mistakes as long as the consequences are not too serious. In college, you’ll need to back off even more. You may need to encourage your kid to try to work out some problems on their own. At the same time, there may also be times when you want to share some advice without necessarily pushing them in a certain direction. This will be a delicate balance, but over time, you’ll get it right.

Reassurance and Encouragement

The one thing that your child will continue to need from you and that everyone needs is reassurance and encouragement. In fact, you can offer this instead solving every problem for your child. If they are having a conflict with a roommate or a professor, encourage them to work it out, let them know that you have their back and even offer advice if they ask for it, but don’t step in unless it becomes absolutely necessary. This will create a space for your child to act independently while also feeling secure in their relationship with you.

Thank you,

Glenda, Charlie and David Cates