As a parent in recovery from substance abuse, you know that it is an uphill battle. Overcoming addiction isn’t easy. It’s a long process that requires dedication, persistence, and support from medical professionals to achieve lasting sobriety. As you fight to conquer your addiction, you need to realize that your battle has not only affected you. Your children have been traumatized while you have fallen into the pit of substance abuse. They’ve seen you at your worst. They haven’t had the devotion they deserve because the source of your addiction has been more important than anything else in your life. You’re on the right path now. You have gone through a recovery program and you are ready to come back home. Now, you need to rebuild a relationship with your children.
Make Your Children Your First Priority
When you come home from your rehabilitation facility, you need to let your children know that drug abuse is not going to be a dark cloud hanging over your home anymore. Your addiction is an illness, but you have been given strategies to help you cope with cravings. You’re ready to make better choices. The most important choice you can make is to apologize to your children. Open your heart. Tell your children your life was out of control before, but you are back on track. Let your children know that nothing is more important to you then your family. It’s the reason you have worked so hard to come back home.
Establish Regular Routines
Your children may have forgotten what it was like to have a normal home life with you. Now that you are back, you need to get back into the swing of everyday routines. Get up early so that you are waiting when your children wake up in the morning. Make breakfast, pack lunches for school, and ensure everyone sits at the table each night for dinner. Drug addiction weakened your bond with your children. You’re going to need to work at it to build it up again. Go the extra mile and spend time with your children, whether you go on a bike ride, head to the park, or watch a movie together. Your children need to know that you are going to be a stable fixture in their lives again.
Open the Door to Communication
You need to give your children the opportunity to talk to you. Let them ask questions. Encourage them to tell you what bothers them. Face their fears. Be prepared for anger. Your children may lash out at you at first. It’s going to take time to prove you mean what you say and that you a really are ready to be a part of their lives again.
Consider Family Counseling
Your rehabilitation program may offer family counseling sessions. When you aren’t sure about what you should do or say, a therapist can guide you and your children toward a better understanding of each other. If you can’t find a counselor through your rehabilitation program, talk to your family doctor to find good resources.
Be Patient
Rome wasn’t built in a day. Picking up the pieces of your relationship with your children will take time after you have suffered from addiction. Don’t expect everything to be all right overnight. Move forward one step at a time. When you fall down, pick yourself up. Remind your children that you are a family and you won’t ever forget that again now that addiction is a part of your past. Put your children first and they will find their way back to you.
Thank you,
Glenda, Charlie and David Cates
