For many parents, the home in the age of COVID-19 has become the office, the classroom, even the gym. Many parents are struggling to not only keep their children occupied but also to oversee schooling, even as they telework, grocery shop and perform all the other daily necessities of family life. At the same time, children could also be reacting to worry by acting out or regressing to behaviors long outgrown.
The pressures of juggling work, chores, and your kids’ school schedules while under lockdown can seem overwhelming. But there are steps you can take to keep a sense of structure (and your sanity)!
Prioritize your wellbeing. The lack of structure at the moment can make it easy to fall into coping mechanisms that can turn into bad habits, such as overeating, drinking too much, or abusing drugs. Added stress and uncertainty can also make it difficult to sleep at night. Try to prioritize your wellbeing as much as possible. This means eating healthy, getting in some exercise, and sticking to a regular sleep schedule.
Set boundaries. Boundaries blur when work and home life occur at the same place, making it tougher to get things done or disconnect from work. To help, designate a specific area to work in, ideally a room with a door. Also, designate an area for schoolwork and homework. If you don’t have a home office, consider fixing your children’s homework space alongside your workspace. That way, you can model how to work productively. Try setting a kitchen timer for 90 minutes and tell children you’ll spend 15 minutes doing something fun with them when the buzzer goes off. When children know the plan, they’re less likely to interrupt your work. Thank your child for allowing you to do your work. Threats, like loss of screen time, are far less effective.
Don’t set yourself up to fail. Be realistic about what you can achieve. Do the best you can but try to keep some perspective. If you can’t bring yourself to set up that virtual museum tour or the kids end up eating cookies for dinner one night, don’t despair. There’s no guide to this, and everyone is taking it day by day. Try not to fall into the comparison trap, either. Each family has its own set of concerns and priorities.
Establish a routine. It’s unrealistic to think you and your children will put in normal hours during this stressful time. But it’s important to maintain a routine, even if children are getting or staying up later than usual. Routines help family members cope with stress and be more resilient. Post a written schedule of when you expect children to get up, do schoolwork, eat meals, play, and go to bed. Also include times dedicated to your own work. Remember not every hour needs to be scheduled. Allow for flexibility, play, and free time.
Make time to laugh. There’s certainly a lot of fear and heartbreak in the world right now, but there are also still chances to share a laugh and enjoy some lighthearted relief. Try to create opportunities for fun with your family. Build a pillow fort in the living room and tell ghost stories or look at old scrapbooks together. Roast marshmallows over the stove.
In these difficult times, it can benefit both you and your kids not to dwell on worst-case scenarios. After all, even in the best of times, an element of uncertainty is still an unavoidable part of life.
Thank you,
Glenda, Charlie and David Cates
