Guest post by: Patricia Eckerman Ambas
Mom-life combined with working life is a juggling act, but is that a good thing or a negative? How do you picture this juggling act? Is it an effortless flow of multicolored balls circulating endlessly until the kids have moved out and retirement is at hand all while smiling serenely with perfectly manicured nails? Or perhaps the image you’ve created is one of scrambling to catch one ball and haphazardly running back to another determined not to miss a single one all while blowing wisps of day three hair out of her face. Whichever vision you’ve created, I think we can actually land somewhere in the middle. Here’s how.
When we moms are “juggling” multiple roles due to all of the hats we wear, it feels like we are dropping balls. Appointments get missed, events overlap, and this juggling looks a bit more like that mom sprinting to catch another ball before it falls.
But one thing we can do is to lighten the load. Which activities need to end when summer comes? Which ones can be for the experience rather than committing to traveling games? Which work responsibilities are actually extra that you could step away from? Taking out the non-essential to build peace and grace around the parts that we are choosing is important for a life you love.
That pristine image of a mother peacefully rotating through those different balls/roles seems harder to achieve. This mother likely has just as many roles as anyone else, but she has the luxury of delegating. Perhaps her juggling balls are lighter because she has hired out the cleaning, or has a short commute, or the children’s grandmother picks up kids from school. That is what we can do, too. Choose at least one aspect today that you can forever delegate moving forward. Can dinner be made by the kids or a restaurant one night a week? Could you swap carpooling turns with another parent? Can work tasks be moved to someone else’s plate? Ease the weight of those juggling balls by sharing them with another.
By doing these two things we can begin to imagine another image, one that’s more balanced between the two versions we’ve seen. But to really ensure this juggling version stays, we must do one more thing: rest. Some may say it’s not juggling if the balls aren’t constantly in motion, but I choose to believe that rest is a state of motion. Some activities just need to take a rest.
These past two years, I have been a work from home mom with my now two year old and two more children in elementary school. I have learned to put down the juggling balls that I need to. I pick it up when I can get to it, and while I am doing that, a different ball is resting. You already know what comes next – I’m going to eventually get to that task, too! It’s not forgotten or set aside forever, but rather it’s in a resting moment and will be addressed when needed. That is the juggle. And yes, this mindset can be a struggle because somehow society has decided that moms must do all the things, and if we are not doing it gracefully and perfectly, then we should feel ashamed. No. We are not superheroes. Working moms are humans with massive hearts and drive who can do amazing things – just not all at once. Delegating, lightening our load, and taking purposeful action of setting an item down and picking it up when we can is our juggle. That’s how we can get things done while loving our roles.
As I write this, my children are asleep, I have one more work deadline to hit tonight, the laundry is piled up, and you know what? My nails are not perfectly manicured, but today my hair is on day one.
About the author:
I consider myself to be an expert these days on juggling mom-life and work-life. No longer teaching full time in the classroom or commuting 90 minutes a day, I now teach online in my office that doubles as the nursery. I also create educational resources for teachers that I wish I had time to make back then, while simultaneously building my author career publishing two books in the past six months and another slated for a summer release. Oh, and did I mention I left teaching to become a stay-at-home mom with my youngest of three children? (The teacher is still in my though, and I created a free lesson plan to use with my books – access it at ICantWaitToLoveYouForever.com) And we have a Filipino family restaurant that I helped my husband build from scratch ten years ago; so yes, learning the best way to juggle my roles has been crucial for the happiness of me and our family. I hope my experiences can help you in your meaningful role as a working mother. ~Patricia Eckerman Ambas
Images available for use:
Patricia Eckerman Ambas
Thank you,
Glenda, Charlie and David Cates
