How to Identify Mixed Signals and What to Do About Them
One of the most complicated aspects of dating someone is when the person you desire gives you mixed signals.
This confusing situation can also happen in other types of relationships, from friendships to professional partnerships.
But in romantic relationships, these signals can cause a lot of future pain if you don’t learn how to identify them. They can result in ghosting, self-blame, and overvaluing someone as a potential long-term partner.
In this article, we’ll dive into why mixed signals happen, how to identify them, and what you can do in response.
- Why Mixed Signals Happen and How to Identify Them
Mixed signals are when “she tells me one thing but then does the opposite” or “he was so into me from the beginning, but now he’s cold and aloof.”
In other words, a mixed signal is an action (or repeated actions) from your romantic interest where you are not sure if they are really into you.
To be more specific, it’s when your romantic interest’s supposed character does not appear to be in alignment with their actions.
There are many possible reasons why your romantic interest could present themselves in such a way, but it often comes down to the fact that they attempt to buy as much time with you (and the benefits that come with you) without putting in much effort from their end.
That is why many people who give mixed signals come across as ‘wishy-washy’ and sometimes selfish.
- What Should You Do About Mixed Signaling?
The problem is that a relationship’s benefits should be earned and not given out without anything in return.
That means that if your partner or romantic interest is giving you confusing responses, you should have the mindset that they must earn the benefits of a relationship with you rather than you sticking around and offering them what they want.
Unfortunately, too many people are afraid to confront their partner who displays mixed signals because they don’t want to risk losing that partner.
They also fear the idea of abandonment from their partner and the heartbreak and rejection that comes with it. Individuals with low self-esteem especially have a difficult time confronting their partners who display mixed signals.
The only way to get around this is to accept that you should not hold onto any feelings of false hope and instead confront reality. You also must be fully prepared for the very real possibility that this person may not be for you.
If anything, you should use the signals as an indication that it’s time to have a very serious conversation with your partner. It would help if you started by providing an example with your own interactions.
- If your partner is not as invested in your conversations when they used to be, become more invested yourself.
- If they don’t talk to you about how their day went like they used to, talk to them about your day.
- If they don’t want to go out for a date very often, ask them out to a nice dinner.
Your actions speak louder than your words, and if you invest more in the relationship than them, it may bring your partner to a realization that they need to reciprocate.
If they fail to do so and the mixed signals continue, it’s time for a direct conversation about where things stand. You can then take things from there and decide what to do next.
Remember, holding onto feelings or thoughts of false hope is the number one way to ensure that absolutely nothing changes and your needs go unmet.
- Conclusion
Since mixed signals cause a significant amount of devastation in relationships, you must learn how to identify them and respond to them effectively.
If you’re in a relationship right now, put the tips mentioned above into action to determine if these signals from your romantic partner are indeed happening, and then take action appropriately. You can also read this very interesting article from Loving-Community.com : I love you but I ‘ m not in love with you an analysis and a solution.
Thank you,
Glenda, Charlie and David Cates
