Billions of greeting cards hit the mail each year around this time, and it is possible many recipients have either moved homes, gotten promoted, married, divorced, or died. There are common etiquette and grammar mistakes to avoid when addressing cards on your holiday mailing list. What do you need to know?
Etiquette expert Sharon Schweitzer from Access to Culture offers this advice:
Titles:
Unmarried Women
Miss: Historically, used for young, unwedded women. “Miss” is used until age 16 to 18. Today, this is still used in certain social circles.
Ms.: Used as a default form of address or when unsure if she is married or not.
Unwed couples living together: Use her maiden name, such as Mr. John Smith and Ms. Mary Williams.
Divorced woman: Absent a court order, women have the option of using their ex-husband’s last name or using their maiden name.
Widowed spouse: “Mrs. John Smith” – Historically, addressed with the husband’s last name until she may remarry. However, modern manners reveal that Mrs. (Ms.) Jane Smith is also correct and appropriate. If you do not know the widow’s preference, addressing the card with the husband’s last name is the traditional and preferred form.
Married Women
Mrs.: Used for women who are married and use husband’s name socially
Engaged: Still use Ms. with the woman’s maiden name until married
Married, but keeping maiden name: Mrs. Mary Williams-Smith
Married and using the husband’s last name: Mr. and Mrs. Smith or “John and Mary Smith.”
Business Professionals:
Businesswomen
– Use “Ms.” for a more formal address, unless she prefers “Mrs.” and goes by her husband’s name.
– For women who are an attorney at law, use “Esquire” in place of “Ms.” or “Mrs.” Only used in written form, not verbal.
– Professional Designations: Mary Williams, J.D., Mary Williams, CPA
– Women who outranks her husband in a professional or educational degree: Dr. Mary Smith and Mr. John Smith
Business Professionals
– If the person is a Reverend: The Reverend and Mrs. John Smith
– If the person is a Chancellor: Chancellor & Mrs. John Smith
– If the person is a Chief or Captain: Chief Smith, Captain Smith
Situations:
Couples living at the same address –
Ms. Mary Williams and Mr. John Smith
Individuals living at same address – Use two lines and do not use “and” (i.e. college roommates or siblings)
Ms. Mary Williams
Mr. John Smith
Other:
Sign Offs:
If you are printing or writing cards for someone of a different faith, consider secular, or a religiously neutral holiday greeting, such as “Happy Holidays” or “Season’s Greetings.”
No matter how many holiday cards you are sending off, close with your personal signature and a quick handwritten note. This makes the card more personal rather than perfunctory. This year during the pandemic, advising as to your family’s health, and inquiring about the recipient’s may be appropriate, depending on your relationship.
Recipient List:
Never underestimate the power of an elegant handwritten note: sending holiday cards to former colleagues and bosses can be a subtle form of networking that maintains friendly contact and keeps you in their thoughts. Personalize the message with your well-wishes and express your gratitude for the chance to work with them.
Tips:
While confirming your recipient’s current (or potential new) addresses, it may take time for them to respond and finalize the mailing list. Meanwhile, order holiday cards, purchase stamps, address and apply return address labels to envelopes to ensure the materials are ready. Avoid licking the stamps and envelopes due to the transmission of viruses or other bacteria. Use easy seal envelopes or a small envelope sealer sponge.
After the fact:
Once holiday cards are mailed, some may be returned if the address was incorrect or the recipient moved. If the returned envelope does not have the forwarding address, it is best to reach out to them by text, or email or call saying:
“Happy holidays! Our holiday card mailed to you was returned. We sent it to 123 Berry Lane. Do you have a new address where we can send it to you? Thank you.”
Millennials and Holiday Cards
While e-cards are easy and quick to send, millennials are changing the game by purchasing physical cards for friends and loved ones. Last year in 2019, NPR reported that Greeting Card Sales Have Stabilized, Thanks To Millennials : NPR . Other sources like Chao are also saying it’s easier to receive a lower number of cards in the mail from close friends and family members rather than opening over 300 Facebook messages from acquaintances. Electronic messages might not be opened, or the recipient may not accept DMs.
Holiday Card Mistakes to Avoid:
- Failing to Update the database: It is incredibly important to update your holiday mailing list to avoid making mistakes by mailing to someone who has:
- Divorced and remarried, changing their previous name and title
- Been promoted within the past year and had their title changed (i.e. Ms. to Dr.)
- Moved to a new home
- Changed status since their spouse has died
- Incorrect Spelling & Phrasing: Be sure to ask for help proofreading your holiday card list – whether an e-card or mailed card list. Double check for apostrophes, exclamation points, and spelling. “Happy Holidays!” is plural to include more than one holiday; however, an apostrophe is not needed as there is no possessive. “Happy Hanukkah!” must be spell checked and capitalized. Use correct grammar when writing “Season’s Greetings” and include an apostrophe since the greetings belong to the season. With “Happy New Year,” is a wish for your recipient(s) to experience happiness in the (singular) upcoming year, and not the forthcoming decade, so avoid the apostrophe.
- Incorrectly signing the family name: It is a mistake to add an extra or unnecessary apostrophe to the family name when signing off on the holiday card. To pluralize a last name, add the letter “s” at the end. If the family name ends in a “ch,” “s,” “sh,” “x,” or “z,” add an “es” to the end. Another option is to sign with “The Robinson Family.
Thank you,
Glenda, Charlie and David Cates
