Ashley Olson pediatric sleep consultant

A Guest Post submitted by Ashley Olson pediatric sleep consultant and has graciously chosen to share her business with us. I would like to let you know before I meet Ashely I didn’t know what a pediatric sleep consultant was or even that they existed or I would have checked into their services with my children and now I need to see if they have one for children Charlie’s age.

Most people don’t know what a pediatric sleep consultant is…until they desperately need one. I get most of my inquiries at 2 am from desperate, sleep-deprived moms who can’t go on any longer with the way things are. Parents often don’t realize that there’s help out there and they don’t have to “suffer” and accept it as “normal.”

I totally get it. That was me 3.5 years ago when I had my son. I naively thought that babies slept when they were tired and didn’t research a single thing regarding sleep until I was so sleep deprived I couldn’t understand anything I was reading and became so overwhelmed by it that I just didn’t do anything. My solution was to just keep going along, praying he would grow out of it and that I wouldn’t have to continue bedsharing just to get what little sleep I could. Anyone relate to this yet? *disclaimer, studies show that poor sleeping habits continue through toddlerhood when not addressed so that would’ve been a rude awakening for me..*

After a really bad night, my husband drew the line. He’s a firefighter/paramedic who has seen some devastating losses from cosleeping/bedsharing and was rightfully opposed, but he couldn’t offer me a solution either. He said it was time we figured it out and let me get caught up on some sleep when he had a day off. That night, I stumbled on an online community based on quality sleep training and they taught me everything I needed to know. We jumped right in the next night (well, I told my husband what to do and went to sleep when we put our son to bed actually) and before the week was up, my then 5-month-old was sleeping through the night with one night feed. I felt like a completely different person! I almost didn’t know what to do with my new found freedom without a baby attached to me all night long. I quickly got used to it though ;). You can read more about my story here.

After my daughter was born and people witnessed how we were able to implement independent, healthy sleep habits from early on, I was often asked why I hadn’t become a consultant that could help so many families. Let me tell you why I put it off for 6 months…

There are a lot of negative opinions out there about “sleep training” and I use quotations because people don’t really even know what it is. They think it’s all or nothing as in you either put your child to sleep or you put them down in their crib and leave them for 12 hours. While extinction is a method to sleep training, I don’t recommend it to parents and definitely, don’t recommend it out of desperation. I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders to change every stigma and negative opinion out there. That didn’t exactly scream “make this a career” to me!

First, let me tell you what sleep training is: it’s simply conditioning your child to fall asleep in a certain way, whether you nurse them to sleep, rock them to sleep, bounce them to sleep in an ergo (our method of choice, which I don’t recommend, because it hurts your back!), or you help them learn how to fall asleep independently via any of the methods I can instruct you in using. If you realize that’s all it is, then you’ll realize that EVERYONE sleep trains their child. If you’ve found a way that works for you, then that’s amazing. If you’re still struggling to figure out your child’s rhythm is, then that’s where I come in.

Sleep training is not: leaving your child alone to cry for hours on end, night weaning, or expecting them to put themselves to sleep in the middle of the night when you put them to sleep at the beginning of the night.

Sleep training is a well thought out process. The method that you choose is even less important than an age-appropriate schedule which gives sleep pressure along with hormones at night and an appropriate routine that signals to your child that it’s bedtime.

How do you know if you need a sleep consultant in your life? How do you know if you need to help your child learn this developmental skill? Ask yourself these questions:

• Does it take hours to get them to sleep for naps or bedtime?
• Are they waking *excessively* during the night? Even after one/every other sleep cycle?
• Are they extremely overtired/fussy/cranky during the day?
• Are they having difficulty meeting the minimum sleep needs for their age?
• Are you struggling with finding their rhythm with naps and appropriate bedtimes?
• Are you having difficulty creating a soothing nap and bedtime routine?
• Are you cosleeping out of desperation?
• Does your child rely on feeding, rocking, pacifier, etc to fall asleep and stay asleep every night?
• Do you dread the bedtime struggles with your toddler every single night?
• Is your toddler up and out of bed multiple times a night, whether that’s right after you put them to bed or continue to wake several times before morning?

If you answered yes to any of those questions, I can almost guarantee that it’s time to help them develop those independent sleeping skills.

Here’s why: chronic sleep deprivation for kids (and adults) is real. Children who are sleep deprived have lower immune systems, are often misdiagnosed with ADD/ADHD, do not reach their full growth potential, have impaired memory, poor academic performance, obesity, low literacy skills, and they’ve even found a link to SIDs. I discuss all of this here with links to studies.

Why is sleep important for all the moms out there? Because there’s a huge link to postpartum depression. I’ll add links to studies at the end, but poor infant sleep puts women at higher risk of depressive systems as well as “negative maternal perceptions of the mother-infant relationship.” Studies are finding that the more help moms have in the postpartum period and the more rest she gets, the lower her risk factor is for developing postpartum depression or anxiety. Isn’t your mental health worth hiring a sleep consultant to solve those poor sleeping habits?

Here are a few tips to greatly improve your child’s sleep today:

Have a consistent, daily series of events. I hesitate to say “schedule” as people get hung up on that word and things spiral if your child gets off the schedule/exact times. Instead, focus on a loose timeline of things like a morning wake up, change a diaper, feed baby, play with baby/tummy time/play mat, etc, then nap routine and get baby to sleep. Repeat for as many naps as they need until it’s bedtime.

Have a consistent bedtime routine. Again, it doesn’t have to be at a specific time so long as they’ve had age appropriate naps and awake time during the day. You can find helpful bedtime routines here.

Make sure your child’s room is dark, like a cave and you’re using white noise (not rain, ocean, etc). If your child is past the age of 6-8 weeks, they should be out of the day/night confusion phase. They’re also more alert, so anything they can see is a distraction. This also means no mobiles or light up things in the crib. You want to make sure they know it’s sleep time and not play time.

If your child is fighting your efforts to soothe them (arching their back, intense crying, not relaxing) then it’s time to put your child down and see what they can do when given the opportunity to find sleep on their own without being forced into it.

Pick a bedtime phrase and repeat it every single time they’re expected to sleep. Something like “shh, it’s night- night, see you in the morning, love you” etc. It’s a powerful signal to them that sleep is expected of them.

These things won’t fix their sleep overnight but making some intentional changes and taking back the control will go a long way in improving sleep; then when you’re ready, I can create a custom sleep plan for you, support you through implementing it, and you’ll be wondering why you didn’t start sooner!

Research about poor infant sleep and postpartum depression:

Postpartum Maternal Sleep, Maternal Depressive Symptoms, and Self-Perceived Mother–Infant Emotional Relationship

Cost-Effectiveness of a Community-Delivered Consultation to Improve Infant Sleep Problems and Maternal Well-Being.

Non-pharmacological interventions for improving postpartum maternal sleep: A systematic review and meta-analysis

Sleep Quality Predicts Persistence of Parental Postpartum Depressive Symptoms and Transmission of Depressive Symptoms from Mothers to Fathers

I’m Ashley Olson, a certified pediatric sleep consultant with over 3 years of experience in helping new parents, experienced parents, desperate and sleep deprived parents find their groove with their child’s sleep. I take a holistic approach to sleep and focus on so much more than a sleep training method. I concentrate on fostering a routine that grows your relationship and bond with your child. I’m passionate about the benefits of sleep and preventing the side effects of chronic sleep deprivation for both children and parents. I specialize in custom sleep plans and 1:1 support to help parents implement healthy, independent sleep habits for their child. You can find me at www.heavensentsleep.com

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I offer free online and phone consultations to figure out if sleep consulting is the right answer for your specific family and goals. You can email me at heavensentsleep@gmail.com for any questions/concerns.

Thank you,

Glenda, Charlie, and David Cates