How do you deal with it when your child is uncooperative?
First of all, I love homeschooling my child, being in the front seat of such growth makes me incredibly happy. However, it’s not all bliss. It can get difficult.
Uncooperative kids in a normal school system get sent to detention or get ignored altogether. I neither have that luxury nor do I want to take that route.
See, my struggle comes in the form of my son, Charlie. An absolute gem, this boy. But Charlie is dyslexic and has ADD. Naturally, a homeschool environment gives him a chance to be on par with other kids education wise. But given his two conditions, I have had to pick up a few strategies to make sure he gets what’s best for him.
- Harder subjects start the day
You may be thinking, “Won’t that exhaust them way too early” And the answer is yes; and no. Starting the day with the harder subjects makes sure you cover the most challenging material when their mind is more receptive to taking in information. At these points, it doesn’t feel like a chore, or it doesn’t frustrate them to learn. They’re raring to go. By the time their attention starts getting scattered, you have gone through one hurdle. Win-win.
- Get visual
Even as adults, sitting behind the same desk, doing the same thing every day gets drab. Out of frustration, you may find it hard to focus. In some extreme instances, you may even act out. Your child may not have even worse self-control. They will kick up a fuss, pout, not sit still you get the idea.
When this happens, how about switching the teaching style? Kids learn a lot by taking in the environment. Try bringing them outside or using a different material.
- The great outdoors
Being uncooperative mostly boils down to the routine. Of course in your planning, you have allocated time for field trips and excursions. Forget about the pre-planned worksheets for a day. If the weather is conducive enough, take the lesson outside. You can use the surroundings to gauge the child’s retention. If it’s possible, how about planning a once a week meet with other homeschool kids and parents. During the meetups, bring out flash cards or other teaching aids. Your kids could have a lot of fun if they feel challenged but in a less demanding environment.
- Merit/Reward systems
Reward systems for uncooperative kids may be a tricky strategy. You don’t want your kids learning because you’re offering a reward for it. However, setting up a quality treat for responsiveness system could work in your favor. For instance, track the time your child takes to complete a task. If they beat their previous time, reward them. It could be anything from a star/badge wall if you have more than two kids in your homeschool to perhaps a unique (edible?) surprise if they outdo themselves. If your child shows steady progress, reward the effort with a ‘school’s out’ trip. Afterward, flip the script when you get back home and make the trip a game of “what you learned.”
- Good old’ tough love
Hold on; this doesn’t mean to send the kids off to their room like some cozy detention. Instead, try to talk to your uncooperative child. They are most likely just frustrated. However, this IS still school. You have to give your kids ‘The Talk.’ It’s not a lecture. Think of it as a heart to heart. Listen to their output. Let them know the position they’re in and how the set up benefits them.
Positive reinforcement is also highly encouraged. Kids respond very positively to words of affirmation. Finding a love language will work wonders for your child. Make them know and feel that they have a say in the whole process.
An uncooperative child is more like a pre-coffee adult. They need a few changes here and there and perhaps some niceness to get them through the day. Be kind to yourself and them. See how quickly things change.
Thank you,
Glenda, Charlie and David Cates
